Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The last couple of weeks have been... hell. I have been taking a new medication for sleep and over time it was affecting my mood more and more until I reached a point of being a ball of anxious, suicidal depression. Not a fun way to spend the holidays. Or any time really. A couple of days ago I took myself off the med (because I wasn't really concerned with whether it was okay with my doctor) and since then things have dramatically mellowed down. They aren't good - my mood isn't good. But it's not bad either. It's neutral. Functional. Rational. And that is worlds better than what I was living with. In the meantime I am taking Benadryl for sleep. I remember a psych telling me once it was harmless taken long term - and I'm going to confirm that with my current psych. As long as it stands true I will stick with it. It gets me the sleep I need with no side effects. I wish I could be normal and just sleep - but I was over-medicated for five years by a jackass who preferred pharmaceutical company kick-backs to patient welfare and my brain no longer knows how to sleep without chemical input.

Alright, something not drug related - A new year! I don't normally do resolutions but one I do have this year is No. New. Pets. :p I got seven this year (a second dog, two birds, two ferrets and two gerbils) in addition to the dog we already had. So, barring some terrible disaster that takes my pets away from me, no new pets. The one exception to this is that we're getting an aquarium. That's been in the works for months and we're just now getting the money to set up the size tank we want with the equipment we want. I guess another exception would be if one of our pairs passes away and the one left behind becomes lonely/needs a buddy. But that's fair. Right?

Mike called while I was typing this up and I've lost my train of thought :p So I'm going to sign off here. I hope you all had a good holiday :)

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