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Much like Dylan here I've been spending much of my time in front of the computer. Except instead of ordering from Omaha Steaks and the Nylabone company I've been finishing up my last minute school work. But finished it is! On Sunday I finished my final paper for Communications - on Monday I knocked out three media analysis - and today I took my final exam and wrote up a presentation for my last Communications class which is this Thursday :D I won't be taking any classes over the summer so I'll be free of school related activities until August 20th O_o Hopefully I don't find myself dreading going back when the time comes after so much time off - I think I've set up a good Fall schedule for myself and while I'll be busy it should at least mostly be interesting :D
All said I'm quite happy with myself having completed my first semester back at school. I last went to school in 2003 or 2004 and I was nervous as hell to go back. "It's been too long." "I'm too old." "I'm too crazy." "I'm going to fail, absolutely." are some of the thoughts that went through my head. But really I got something fantastic from this - which is the knowledge that I'm capable of doing it. Of course I will go through this all again when I transfer to UW - but one thing at a time...

I've moved my writing (yeah.. well.. there will be soon :D) and writing relating rantings over to Here's My Story. This blog, which was originally meant for writing related stuff just seemed to derail into my own personal thoughts and rantings. It was easier to just start anew with the writing discussion :)
Admittedly there's not much there right now - but I hope you'll consider checking it out. I have high hopes :)

As I was finishing up my chapter work for my Interpersonal Communications class today and I came across the chapter on family relationships. There was a section defining different types of families - "nuclear", "blended", etc.  Whether you’re married, homosexual, combined with other relatives, or remarried - children always seemed to be required for the “family” definition. I like to think that with our two selves, two dogs, two ferrets, two gerbils, two parakeets and a fish tank that we have a fine little family going. And that even without the pets we would still qualify for family status for reasons beyond procreation. I would also say that a young woman living in an apartment with her cat are also their own little family. Maybe that’s too broad a definition for some – but I definitely find the current definitions to be too narrow.

The family I was adopted into was large. Lots of mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins and of course children. But not a family by any definition. Abusive, cruel, petty, manipulative and all of them only out for themselves. Every positive interaction mentioned in the chapter – I never saw it among them. The book says that “family comes from the Latin “famulus”, meaning “servant” or “slave”. I think they were all fully aware of that. They used each other to their own purposes, never giving back. There was no positivity. No openness. No assurances. Everyone yelled at each other even though they were in the same room. When my mother died I left that family. I’m perfectly happy with the little one I’ve got going on here – even if it doesn’t warrant definition. 

In reality “defining family” is probably too difficult. People who are supposed to be our family sometimes simply aren’t. And those that we aren’t related to biologically/by adoption are “like family”. I feel more affection for my brother-in-law than I ever will for my sister. I have an aunt and uncle through my husband who I hold closer than any in my adoptive family. And as I've said before my husband’s father was the only man I ever called “Dad” by choice. Sometimes redefining is required.

Before I start this please know that it is not meant to offend. I have no issues with others belief systems - only how they choose to use them against other people. I believe in the right to religious freedom - in what I see to be the true meaning of the phrase. Everyone is free to worship (or not) how they see fit without forcing their beliefs upon others because those others are free to worship (or not) how they see fit. I think debate is healthy up to a point because we can learn something from one another. See each others point of view. Education is always a good thing. Unfortunately things turn nasty so quickly with topics such as these. Maybe because some of us are trying to convert each other - and we shouldn't be. It's too big a thing - you will almost certainly not make someone an Atheist or Christian or Pagan or any other religion over the internet or in any single conversation in person. It took me over ten years to transform from Christian to Agnostic to Atheist. And no one else did it for me. No one single argument from anyone pushed me in any single direction. People contributed - but by their natural actions. By simply being themselves. By the world being the way it is. But it was mostly my own thoughts and actions. My own questions and the answers I sought out for myself.
I was raised Christian - specifically Baptist. I went to Sunday school as a child and was the youngest person to be baptized at my church (at the time anyway, I haven't kept up with their records.). I went to a Christian camp when I was young and when I grew up I worked there for my first job.
I was thinking about that job today - more specifically leaving it. I was sixteen years old and it was midsummer. I was stressed, anxious and depressed. My job was working in the kitchen and my mental health was not conducive to hanging around sharp objects all day. I was worried about myself and I felt it best to remove myself from the situation. So I let the director know I was quitting. I couldn't give notice, I was sorry. I don't remember what I told him was the reason for my leaving - I know it wasn't the truth. I was told that the two directors wanted to say good-bye to me and as I'd worked there for about two years that seemed normal so I went into one of the offices. They sat me down and one sitting, one standing they proceeded to tell me that I was a slut and a whore for the amount of time I spent with my boyfriend, including spending the night (supervised) at his house. They told me that my character was flawed, I wasn't a good person and I wouldn't amount to anything in life because I was raised without a father. They also said some stuff about my mother. Two grown men lied to get a sixteen year old girl into their office so that they could berate her. And why? Because she quit without notice.
This is what started the change for me. Two Christian men running a Christian camp and acting very un-Christlike. No one with a witty comment or a bible verse or a well thought out point would have done it. No internet argument or in person debate would have changed my life enough to make me rethink where I wanted to place my faith. And even with this turning point, as I said it took over ten years for me to change completely from Theist to Atheist. I think if you want to have a theological discussion, that's fine. Even encouraged. But be smart about it. Be kind and respectful and be educational. Don't beat people over the head with your beliefs because they need their own change, their own turning point for a new belief system - if it ever comes. I always had questions, but I wasn't looking to change. Change found me.

I've been planning this tattoo for a couple of years and finally got it a couple of weeks ago. It is in memory of my father-in-law who passed away about five years ago in a motorcycle accident. The chess piece is because the first time I spent quality time with him was when he taught me how to play chess - I was sixteen and my husband (then boyfriend) was away at either basic training or tech school. The Knight is because that's what he was to me. He was the only person I called "Dad" by choice and the only person I ever felt filled that role for me. He was also the only person I've ever had a close relationship with who I can say with no hesitation never hurt me. Maybe if he had lived, he would have one day. But I don't think so. He surely wasn't perfect - nobody is perfect. But in my life, in my experiences - he was as close as they got. He knew who I was and what I was like. He knew the things that were wrong with me and he never thought that that's what it was - something wrong. That I needed fixing in that sort of sense.
   I came from a family that is filled with hateful, selfish, cruel, abusive, petty and just generally unlikable people. And they live. I've never heard of anyone disliking my father-in-law. Not in the sense that he passed away and everyone said nice things about him - that sort of thing always happens. Even when he was alive everyone liked the person he was. These parts of life I cannot come to terms with. These kinds of accidents I do not understand.

In just about every therapy appointment I bring up that I'm an angry person and I don't like it. That I want to be less angry or less hateful towards others. Hold less contempt. This week my therapist said something that surprised me, and that I never expected anyone in her profession to say - That maybe the anger was okay. That perhaps it was earned and deserved. That perhaps after a childhood and adolescence of every abuse known - that spending my twenties depressed and suicidal, in hospitals and betrayed and preyed upon by the people who were supposed to help me (and that list is long). After all my losses, the cutting, the over medication and solitude that maybe I have earned the right to be angry. Maybe this is the point in my life where I say "Hey, fuck you guys. I got through all your shit and now I'm working on being my own person." And I am. It's very difficult and I think she may be right that anger is the best I can do right now. This revelation also makes it easier to think that maybe this is just a transition phase. Maybe it's not just going to be anger forever. It has been for going on two years but perhaps it will start to fade and I'll become someone who is more compassionate towards the average person - and if not completely compassionate at least not so damn upset with humanity all the time. I would settle for that last part. But it is nice to think that maybe I'm not a horrible person. Maybe everything I've endured for the last 30 years or so has given me the right to be pissed off. And maybe one day I won't be so pissed at everyone.
For the record, the animals get a pass. They have always gotten a pass. I believe them to be better than we are because I can always understand their meanings. If Dylan barks at the mailman I know it's because she's protective of the house because someone broke in when she was a puppy and it affected her. If a person bitches at the mailman I just think they are being an ass. In general I seem to be able to understand the nature of animals better than I can people. I can't accept "He was abused as a child." as an excuse to being an abuser or being an asshole. I was abused as a child too. I'm not an abuser of people or animals and while I harbor anger and hatred, I'm not outwardly bitchy. Everybody is different, but you can rise above.

 We are a couple days shy of our one year anniversary here in Cheyenne. We have managed to get completely unpacked and mostly set up in that time - there's more in the garage than we'd like and there's some yard work we want to do when the weather gets better. We've made little additions of our own already - rope lights on the back patio, ceiling fans and lights in the bedroom, dog doors into the garage and house and other little things. We want to plant a vegetable and herb garden in the back and tear up part of the front walkway and put down crushed stones and pathway lights.

The picture above was taken today. Winter is still here and may be for a bit. Not very attractive at the moment either. The picture to the right was taken at the beginning of last autumn (we've moved a couple of planters around since and the bird feeder is in for repair). I very much miss the trees in bloom and the green grass and the garden that grows along the fences. I think Dylan misses the garden too - especially the sunflowers. She seemed to enjoy hiding in them. I need to talk to someone at the local garden center about when is a good time to plant. We never had a house that was suitable for gardening really and with Wyoming's extended winters I'm not entirely sure what the best timing is.

I've actually started writing on my memoir. Journal in book form I've been calling it. I took a go at it yesterday and got 689 words down. Not bad for someone who hasn't been able to get anything out lately :)

It's all about me - apparently. I've decided to write a memoir. Not really for publishing - I don't presume to think the public is that interested in my life. But it's been gnawing at me for months and to the point where I cannot seem to write anything else. I spent weeks outlining another story - even drew out a map for the world - but I cannot write a damn thing for it. This memoir business keeps pulling at me. I'm hoping it'll be therapeutic as well, or at least not damaging. I don't know how to write something like this - how to outline it or what order to go in or anything like that - but I know that it needs to be done and I hope, really hope that once it is I'll be able to actually write something else. It seems silly to be consumed by the idea of a writing project that isn't fiction - or at least someone else's biography. It feels selfish to devote the time and energy to writing about myself and my life. It doesn't surprise me to feel that way - I'm not really into feeling that I'm worth the time and energy of other people - I suppose I shouldn't be worth my own time as well. But in the hopes that it will be helpful - to shut up the voice in my head, to get writing again and to maybe release (or silence) some ghosts - I'd like to actually, finally do it.

  Two years ago today marks the passing of my mom. Our relationship was often tumultuous. At one point I went several months without speaking to her. It was after that that things settled down with us. Nothing was ever perfect. We never hung out just to spend time together, had meaningful conversations, went shopping or indeed showed a lot of affection. She grew in up in a time and family where emotion was not shown and children were not precious after a certain age. When she adopted me there was a full family - mother and father, me the daughter and the hopes of a son. When my father was arrested all foster children were taken from the house and it was just her and I and I think that left her bitter. She had many faults as a parent, but never the less she was my mom.I think a lot of people have a hard time with that. I know my husband does. How can I care about a person who was so hurtful? But I did. I do. Not to say she didn't hurt me. She did. I am damaged due to my

upbringing. I am still, everyday fighting to get on some normal track of living. But your mom is your mom no matter what and while I didn't always liked her, I did always love her. And sometimes I miss her. I missed not sharing that we were finally leaving New Mexico. That we were buying our first house. That I've gone back to school. She was never a great source of comfort, but I did miss being able to call her when I was sick last year and big things like Lupus, RA, and even cancer were being looked at. But I also felt a sense of relief when she passed. Not necessarily for myself, but for her. She wanted to go - I'm certain that she was waiting for it. She talked about it often and believed there was something much better waiting for her on the other side. I believe that after the life she lived even if there is nothing, for her it is better. She deserved the release.

Two years gone and yes, I do miss my mom. Not many people realize it. If anyone. No one expects me to. Hugs were scarce, but I would like to have another one. I would like to call and have her answer the phone in a pleasant tone because her little girl is calling. I would like to explain for the hundredth time how to copy and paste with the computer mouse. I would like to have the good again. But I know that no matter what's out there, it really is better for her. And I try to take comfort in that.

 New year! New schedule! New camera! New laptop! School has started! Where the heck have I been? I don't really know. I'm still on track mentally. I'm mostly on track physically - my allergies have chosen mid-winter to flare up and I have no idea why. It's totally new to me, but this is also our first winter in Wyoming, so I suppose anything could happen :p I slammed my thumb in the car door last week and that was a fun adventure in pain and pressure. But I went to the clinic a couple of days afterwards and had them burn a hole through my nail and bleed it out a bit and it has felt very much better since then :D

I did indeed get both a new laptop and a new digital camera. The laptop was built at ibuypower.com and they did an awesome job, I really like what I've got :D The camera is a Panasonic LUMIX DMC-G3 *points to above picture* I am by no means a photographer, but I wouldn't mind being close to one someday. I love taking photos and am thrilled to have a proper camera with which to do it with :)
I have started school - back on the 10th. I was originally taking three classes but dropped English. It was kind of annoying and I didn't need it anyway - I had the credit from my last school which transferred and I just thought I would refresh. I'm left with Interpersonal Communication (actually quite interesting) and Math (never, ever interesting - but necessary.)

I haven't done any writing for some time. I want to and yet I don't sit down to do it. Part of me (a big part, I think) wants to do a memoir but I have a voice in my head that just says that it's silly and unnecessary or even plain stupid. And I mean for me personally, not in general. So I really want to, but keep tell myself not to, for one reason or another. I keep trying to find something else to write about and so far... well, I haven't written anything about anything. I need to figure something out because the desire is there and the not doing it is bothering me.

The last couple of weeks have been... hell. I have been taking a new medication for sleep and over time it was affecting my mood more and more until I reached a point of being a ball of anxious, suicidal depression. Not a fun way to spend the holidays. Or any time really. A couple of days ago I took myself off the med (because I wasn't really concerned with whether it was okay with my doctor) and since then things have dramatically mellowed down. They aren't good - my mood isn't good. But it's not bad either. It's neutral. Functional. Rational. And that is worlds better than what I was living with. In the meantime I am taking Benadryl for sleep. I remember a psych telling me once it was harmless taken long term - and I'm going to confirm that with my current psych. As long as it stands true I will stick with it. It gets me the sleep I need with no side effects. I wish I could be normal and just sleep - but I was over-medicated for five years by a jackass who preferred pharmaceutical company kick-backs to patient welfare and my brain no longer knows how to sleep without chemical input.

Alright, something not drug related - A new year! I don't normally do resolutions but one I do have this year is No. New. Pets. :p I got seven this year (a second dog, two birds, two ferrets and two gerbils) in addition to the dog we already had. So, barring some terrible disaster that takes my pets away from me, no new pets. The one exception to this is that we're getting an aquarium. That's been in the works for months and we're just now getting the money to set up the size tank we want with the equipment we want. I guess another exception would be if one of our pairs passes away and the one left behind becomes lonely/needs a buddy. But that's fair. Right?

Mike called while I was typing this up and I've lost my train of thought :p So I'm going to sign off here. I hope you all had a good holiday :)

To my extreme surprise I got a visit from Animal Control this morning. It seems that last night while I was doing a sleep study in Colorado, Dylan was in the backyard barking - for about two hours O_o The complaint was that the woman was worried she might be stuck outside in the cold. I'm cynical and think she was mostly complaining about the noise. (Our neighbors have shown no interest in us in the almost year that we've been here - but they may actually be concerned for my dog. I don't know). Either way there was a knock on my door this morning. I explained to the lady that came that I was gone all night, Mike wasn't home and it was Dylan's first time alone in this house. I also explained that she has anxiety issue that she takes medication for (No really, she's on Prozac and Xanax). I showed her the dog doors, showing that Dylan has access in and out of the house. All this seemed to be enough and I didn't get into any sort of trouble - no warnings or citations. Just a suggestion that the next time I leave her alone overnight I have someone stay with her or close up her access to the outside. The lady that stopped by was actually really nice and understanding. She also recognized Kuma :D Kuma came from a botched rescue situation where she was one of about 50 dogs living in a mobile home in terrible conditions. Apparently the lady who stopped by today was there when they cleared out the home. Also the time before that when there were over 100 dogs >_< It appears Kuma was the "rescuer's" personal dog - the only one that wasn't there as a rescue but as a pet. That didn't help Kuma out too much though as her face is still twisted and scarred from fights and her teeth were destroyed from being in a kennel. (Our $80 shelter dog ended up costing about $1000 in the first month)

Anyway - sorry to have an entire post about the dogs. More to come soon :)

Today's picture features my favorite mug. It was a gift from my brother-in-law and is perfect for tea and soup. (Today it is tea.) I suppose it would be perfect for coffee too, but it doesn't fit in my Keurig machine and I am just addicted to that damn thing :p Though if I bring a coffee home from Starbucks or Dazbog I often transfer it to this mug :D

Mike comes home today which meant it was animal cleaning day - well most of the animals. The dogs are cleaned by the groomers. (I had a job as a dog bather once and I am very grateful to them, especially for dealing with Dylan!) But the ferret tower, bird cage and gerbil tank all got an overhaul. Mike comes home every eight days (he's gone for four/home for four/rinse/repeat) so it gives me a good cleaning schedule. The gerbils get done every other homecoming because they just don't need it as often :p It also gives me something to do to pass the time while I'm waiting for Mike to actually walk through the door. There's no set schedule for that. One day he got home at ten a.m. (I don't think that will be happening again though) and another he got home around eight p.m. - and he's come home at all times in between. I think some people think I'm a little insane to have eight pets - but when you spend this much time on your own you grow to appreciate the company! I'm a little worried about what starting school in January is going to do to the pet responsibility load but I think it'll be okay. Plus there is a reason they are all in pairs! When I can't be around they've all got a buddy to hang out with. 

I have been beating myself up lately about not writing. I haven't written since the day after I completed NaNoWriMo. I was so proud of myself for managing that and so sure I was going to keep this thing going - but it's been just over a week and... nothing. I want to. I have ideas! I got a moleskin notebook to jot them down and I've actually managed to do just that. But I'm so afraid that I'll write utter crap - or that I won't be able to write anything at all - that I haven't made the attempt. Which is kind of pathetic reasoning. Really it's better to get crap down that I can work out and improve later then to get nothing down at all. I can't really improve on what isn't there. No real editing to be done there. I joined the Absolute Write forums in hopes that it would get my butt in gear. So here's hoping :)

Another wintery day in Cheyenne. The first thing I did this morning (after having a cup of gingerbread coffee) was shovel the sidewalk, walkway to the house and clean off the car. This is not the first morning I have spent like this - but this is my first winter in Cheyenne after living ten years in the New Mexico desert, and two and a half years before that on the tropical island of Okinawa. I am just not used to it. Back in the fall outside of Lowe's were snow blowers. I told Mike we should get one. He came up with a bunch of reasons why it wasn't necessary, so they all went home with somebody else. Now it's winter and oddly enough every time we have a snowstorm Mike is in the field O_o I can't fault him for that, he doesn't make his schedule and he doesn't control the weather. But he also isn't the one home doing the shoveling :p I know it's good exercise - it's great exercise! There's no arguing that! It's good to get outside and do something with yourself. But it never fails that when I'm getting ready to go out the morning after a snowfall I see my neighbor out with his snow blower :p

 Random Thoughts:

-When I posted about getting the birds I said we were thinking about naming them Bludger and Snitch. We actually went with Opal and Jade :) Also, it turns out they are both girls (we thought they might be boys)

-I want to join a writing group (or maybe another group of interest) but everything around here isn't actually around here - it's either in Ft. Collins or Laramie (which is actually smaller than Cheyenne) - both are 45 minutes away. Though it's not the time of the drive that bothers me, it's the gas.

-I bought my school books last night. I got them on Half.com and with shipping the three of them cost $180.00. One was brand new. If I were to have gone through my school's book store I would have paid at least twice that (without shipping).

-Christmas shopping for family is done! I have one or two more stocking stuffers to pick up for Mike and then he will be done too :D I'll probably do that today.

-That's all. No more random thoughts :p

Holy crap, you guys!! I did it! Going into this thing my only hope was to get into the practice of writing every day. To be a writer again. In the last several years all I had written of note were two short stories, about three hundred words each. Not much especially over the time span. I thought I was more than a little crazy to jump into NaNoWriMo after such an intense dry spell - but like I said I just wanted to get writing again. I had no intention of winning. In fact I fully expected not to. "I can't write that much!" "1667 words a day? Not coming from me, buddy." I've had five days where I wrote well over 2,000 words, two days where I wrote over 3,000 and today? Today I wrote 6,426. I don't know if I can do anything like this again, but I had a good time (most of the time) and am so glad I did it. It showed me that I can still write. I can still be creative. That I still have something in me that's worth putting to use. It also showed me that I can write and enjoy it just for me. No one has read anything of my novel. No one even knows what it's about. It's just mine and I'm okay with that.
I can't thank the directors at The Office of Letters and Light enough, but along with the merchandise I'm purchasing I'm making a donation. I wish I had more to give them for what they've given back to me.

As far as the immediate future - tomorrow I'm going to treat myself with a trip to the library, because I haven't been for the entire month of November. And that's far too long O_o

Chugging along with NaNoWriMo! I'm currently at 23,479 words - just over the recommended goal for today.I am honestly surprised that I've kept up this long and really do hope I can stick it through until the end :D I had to get an endoscopic procedure done today and I think if I managed to get my word count in today there should be no excuse for the remaining two weeks!

I'm currently up a bit later than usual as I'm waiting for midnight to register for classes online for the Spring semester. I'm not sure why registration starts at midnight - but I want to have the best chance at getting the classes I've chosen so here I am. Thankfully I've got nothing planned tomorrow so I can sleep in if need be :D

We've got part of our Christmas shopping done (woot!) We know where we want to do most of the rest but the lady only puts up shop occasionally and not on any real schedule so we're having trouble finding her O_o Then we've got Mike's brother and his girlfriend and we're set! Except for ourselves. Though that's more a matter of knowing what funds are available than knowing what to buy. Also I've bought supplies to make Christmas cards and I'm really looking forward to that XD

 Welcome to NaNoWriMo! I didn't think I was going to do it but I made the daily goal on day one with a final word count of 1671. Can I do that for another 29 days? I have no idea - but I'm going to try for sure. I thought I'd put up my writing space as today's picture - seemed appropriate for November 1st. Of course I'm currently typing this in the living room - but that's one of the joys of having a laptop.


In non-writing news I saw a new therapist today. My previous therapist was... annoying me. I guess a better way to put it would be that we didn't mesh therapeutically? Or something. Either way I saw someone new today and I do like her. Hopefully that will continue. In other mental health news my psych is messing with my meds in the hopes of getting me out of a rapid-cycling/depressed/irritable/low-energy stage that I have been stuck in for roughly forever. I don't know if the Vitamin D deficiency has anything to do with any of that, but I've been on the 50K unit pills for about three weeks and I would think if that was the issue there would be some sort of improvement. I know I need some improvement because this constant crap mood cannot stay. Mike says there have been times of stability and contentedness in my life - times that have lasted - but when I'm like this for this long I can never remember them.

 Okay, now we've got snow! Something that's actually measurable :D This is from a couple of days ago, but there is still a fair amount on the ground. Thankfully it didn't keep Mike out in the field any longer than scheduled, though it was looking that way for a little while. He got home late but that is better than the alternative :)

The ferret tower got here the day before Mike came home and we agreed he would put it together, but I got impatient and I felt bad that they didn't have proper digs. I managed to build it myself, all proper and competent like but when it came to placing the shelves and the ramps inside... No. I tried and the ferrets got around okay but Mike had to rebuild the interior when he got home. He's much more mechanically inclined than I am and the ferrets are better off for it.

NaNoWriMo is inching ever closer and I don't have nearly as much prep done as I would like >_< Mike is home until 31 October and if I don't make some time to get something done I'm afraid I'm going to be going in a lot more blind than I was hoping. This probably isn't the proper spirit, but I don't truly expect to get 50,000 words done. I want to - it's my goal. But I'm rusty at writing at all and really this is a tool to get me going more than it is a competition to win. For me anyway. If it gets me writing - really writing - in November and beyond I will consider that a total win :D

On Thursday we attempted to go to the Zoo - though we didn't realize it was a "Free Day" before we set off on our two hour trip to Denver. We ended up grabbing lunch and turning around to go to Rocky Mountain Nation Park instead - a very wise detour :) The day was perfect for it - crisp and clear - and the scenery was beautiful. Also we saw a ton of elk - some close enough to touch. Unfortunately the closest elk were at night and my camera is just not snazzy enough to get great night shots. Still, a very cool experience.

Today is my 31st birthday. I feel old. When I was 30 I sort of comforted myself with the knowledge that I was still close to my twenties. That doesn't seem applicable anymore. I know someday my thirties will seem young - but not today :p

What is young in the ferret currently trying to crawl up my pant leg. Oh yes - we've already extended our family again! But we're done now - for sure! Eight pets is enough. For anyone counting that's two dogs, two gerbils, two birds and now two ferrets. They were a birthday extension. So I got a pretty good haul this year! Birds, ferrets, Sims 3 Pets, BBC's "Jekyll", a Paddington Bear mug and Ben Fold's new 3 CD set :D I am a lucky girl! What I don't get this year is my husband. He left for the field this morning. But we pretended yesterday was my birthday :)

NaNoWriMo is coming and I don't think I'm ready! I have an idea but I'm afraid it won't carry me. I need to spend some more time with it and see where it takes me.